Have you ever suddenly found yourself "upside down" with a controlling leader? Maybe you asked a question you shouldn't have asked or voiced a different opinion—or maybe something hasn't seemed right for a long time, but you've had a hard time putting your finger on it.
Whatever the underlying event, it's a confusing experience. Often, it seems to come out of nowhere. When you're in a place of favor it can be difficult to recognize how a leader treats those who are out of favor. But when that power and influence is turned against you—either by a leader or an institution, it can be disorienting and even devastating. Whether that happens in a church, business, nonprofit, or a home, it's crazy-making—but in a faith-centered community, it can be especially wounding, cutting at core places of trust as reality gets twisted before your eyes.
Wade Mullen of GRACE says that when controlling or abusive leaders find themselves cornered or threatened... "They question the motives of those who ask questions, make the discussion of problems the problem, condemn those who condemn, and descend upon those who dissent."
They question the motives of those who ask questions, make the discussion of problems the problem, condemn those who condemn, and descend upon those who dissent. — Wade Mullen
When what was up seems down—and what was down seems up, it's time to step back and find your bearings.
In the 2020 Olympics, the U.S. was shocked when Simone Biles stepped back because she experienced the "twisties." She experienced a disconnect and couldn't pinpoint her position in the air, and she knew what most of the world didn't—that ignoring or pushing through the twisties is dangerous.
But they can be overcome.
Step back. Practice curiosity. Get some distance and breathe clear air. It's hard to get clarity when the air is foggy and things are swirling, either inside or out.
When you've been entrenched in a particular system for a long time, it can be difficult to get your bearings—and all the more so if that system feels upside down. You may be disoriented, but you're not crazy.
Trust your good instincts and when you've had time and space to breathe, invite wise counsel from those who have some distance.
Solid ground is waiting for you. TRUTH is still true, no matter how it has been twisted.